LIGHTNING.

Right now, I'm surrounded by lightning on four sides.  This seems to make my sick dog uncomfortable.  He now only eats when we've poured something wet over his dry food. 

This evening, after realizing I had all of the ingredients necessary to make portabello mushroom reubens for my family, I watched most of Lawrence of Arabia with my father.  We talked about how Lawrence loses a significant piece of himself every time he loses a significant person.  Easy Stages.  

WHO ARE YOU?

Earlier today the dirt line on my shins made it seem like I was wearing leggings.  My bike and I hadn't had any quality time together in a long time.  My brother turned back early.  He doesn't have quite the same relationship with his bike.   It felt a bit like an awkward double date, when I really just wanted us to be alone, out where no one would stop us.  

Last night, and the nights before that, there are so many questions that are not unanswered.  it's not that they've been answered, they simply haven't been given the dignity of words, so none of us know what is real and what is dreams and what is something on the tip of your tongue, not quite able to put a finger on--that feeling that your head is too big for your head, and if you don't scream or sprint to the Camponille or punch your best friend in the nose, you may soon become a puddle on the floor or a cloud of dust or some other substance with no form of its own.  And if this conversation isn't had soon, we will all have become too resigned to ever move forward.  

Everyone so esteems Ebenezer Scrooge for reinventing himself.  But really, all those around him would be asking, "why is he putting on such an elaborate act?  This personality doesn't suit him.  Stop being so fake, putting on airs, please, for crissake have a bit of dignity!"  We are very quick to spot changes in behavior and very slow to accept them.  

This is why we go away.  To Germany.  To Asia.  To Boulder.  To Chicago.  To Kansas City.  To Clinton Lake.  To New Orleans.  To India.  To St Louis.  To the ambiguous space in-between full of strangers and haircuts and languages and trains.